Sunday, June 27, 2010

Looking for peace in turmoil.

Are we in peace ? Most of us pose the peace sign 'V' with our index and middle fingers, while taking snaps, but do we feel what we show? Have we experienced the ultimate peace of mind, where there are no worries, no tension, no strings attached, just a blank mind! Have we felt as light a straw floating on the sea? [barring the influence of alcohol, weed ;)]

Life is meant to be enjoyed, but are we doing justice to our own single life? Why do we always want to go that extra mile, to achieve what we don't have? If we fail, we bring misery, anger, sadness in our life. If we succeed, we want to go another mile, and the craving for an extra mile does not end.

Quoting arguably the best music group ever:

"So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here."

Absolute brilliance. Makes me ponder over my decisions, my mistakes, my life.

God Bless.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Stung by a Wasp

I was stung by a wasp on my right arm yesterday while I was sitting outside a bar with a friend. My head went buzzing and it felt like someone was constantly drilling through my hand. The bartender was kind enough to give me some ice and an antiseptic tissue. I did all I could by compressing and getting the poison out, but did not help much. My initial scare was....damn it.....I might get fever tonight (I remember, last time a bee stung me in Kanpur, I had fever that night). I could not sleep all night, because every time I rolled over my right arm, I woke up with excruciating pain :-(
Decide this morning, I have to see a doctor. My right arm was swollen, red and stiff (definitely not a condition I would want to drive, so I decided to take a bus ride to school). Fortunately, the lady at health services was able to provide an immediate walk in appointment. My doctor was CHINESE... :-D . He was about 60, and seemed a very friendly person and spoke with a typical Chinese accent (recall: chopping vegetables as Russel Peters put it).

Here is a classic example of how people make lame, unnecessary conversation here in the US.

Doc: Good morning, I am Dr. Lee.
Me: Hi [my greeting was short, because (believe me on this), I was thinking of Bruce Lee when I heard the doc's name, and chuckled at my own silly thought]
Doc: How are you doing today?
Me: Not too good! [what a stupid question to ask! why would I have come here, if I was feeling good...duh!]
Doc: You seem to be breathing well and talking well too. Thats good. Where did the wasp sting you?
Me: Here [showing him my forearm]
Doc: How do you know that was a wasp?
Me: Because it had black and yellow stripes.
Doc: Why did it bite you on the arm?
Me: [totally frustrated now] I did not get a chance to ask the wasp.
Doc: It could have bit you somewhere else.
Me: [keeping silent for a moment , and almost begging the doctor for some medication] I am in pain.
Doc: So you study Physics ?
Me: Yeah [again puzzled, whats wrong with this doctor? And, how on earth does he know what I study?]
Doc: Are you doing your PhD here?
Me: [frustrated] Yes.
Doc: Where did you do your masters?
Me: India, IIT [wondering if he would know about IIT].
Doc: IIT! which one?
Me: [feeling good that he knew IIT] Chennai.
Doc: I have friends from IIT.
Me: [wow] Thats nice to know. We have strong alumni [feeling proud within].
Doc: [out of the blue] Why do you have a beard? You do not look your age with the beard!
Me: Umm, have been too lazy to shave [having no clue how to answer that]
Doc: You will be fine in 40 hours.
Me: Any medicines ? [actually shouting in my head, "Give me some fucking pain killers or something"]
Doc: Here is an ointment.
Me: Okay [just an ointment!]
Doc: [handing me back the insurance papers] Submit this at the front desk.
Me: Thank you [out of reflex, no feeling of gratitude what so ever. Just an ointment! I can barely move my arm].
Doc: Have a good one.
Me: You too ['good one!' what good one, or who good one, or which good one....ugh.....still need to get a hang of the American way of speaking].

Disappointment of the day- The ointment I was prescribed was the equivalent of 'Boroline' we get back in India (and I spent $5 on that).
Realization of the day- The system here in US, identifies you by some numbers, and allows anyone to extract information about you (from the doc knowing what I study).
Feeling right now- My arm still hurts, and I have typed all this with my left hand.

Monday, June 7, 2010

What triggers creativity ?

I had posted this article on another blog day before yesterday, but I thought I should share it here too.

How many of us are creative? Well at some point all of us are (considering we are all researchers which requires some creative thinking and originality), but here I would like to focus on creativity at all levels, be it music, literature, art, research, cooking or blogging as in this case. LOL.

Question is, what triggers the creative dude in us? Don't shrug your shoulders telling yourself that 'I am not creative. Creativity is for crazy people!'. When you listen to a song and think, it would have been nice if the note was a bit different here, the creative you is working. Even when you appreciate a song as it is, or a piece of art, or nature, or life, the creative you is working subconsciously, but we do not realize it. Reading a book, watching a movie is indulging in someone else creativity thereby synchronizing you creativity with others. If you do not like a movie ( ex. Govinda blockbusters, Rajnikanth... ugh), you do not appreciate the director's creativity and hence you judge others creativity by your creative standards. If you still have doubts about your creativity, I am sure you have done bathroom singing at some point of your life. Well, listening to your own voice in the good acoustics of a bathroom and telling yourself, 'hmm, I am not that bad a singer after all', is appreciating your own creativity.

So, agreeing to the fact that all of us are creative at some level, the question I would like to address here is, which particular emotion in a human sparks the best creative work out of him/her? Happiness, pain, love, boredom, hate or just the passion about something, someone that stirs the creator in you? For example, look at any sportsman, and I feel it is the passion for that particular sport that has got them to what they are. Moving our attention to music, most of the best music has been triggered by either 'love,pain or hatred'. How many songs do we know of that deal with anything other that the above three? The entire rock scenario is surrounded by these feelings. Rock is a way of venting feelings and making a statement, and which other feelings trouble a man more than 'love, pain, hatred'. Same is the case with Blues, mostly venting frustration (and giving you a high). Music helps relieve the pent up emotions, and it is these emotions that pushes creativity out of humans, both knowingly and unknowingly. Just to make myself clear here, 'love, pain, hatred', here can be towards someone or something (like your job, boss, childhood, family, nature). I am sure all of us have been high on Pink Floyd at some point (see creative you).

I have not read a lot of literature to really make a comment on that, but, the limited reading that I have done, again revolves around the same human emotions. Lets try to get an insight into a writer's mind. A writer who had a general inclination towards romance, thinks differently from a writer who writes thrillers. There has to be some particular emotion working behind each of these writers that makes their style statement and instigates them to write about whatever they are best at and they like.

When a person says, I am a poet, a painter, a writer, I think, he/she is partially correct. How can someone be triggered by emotions at all times to be creative? You cannot just be a writer or a painter, or a musician, you can be one who does something else too. Creativity is not like a television, where you have a remote to turn it on. Any creative person needs the right environment and ambiance to let the creativity flow out spontaneously. Sometimes, it can be an incident on the street, a past memory, a conversation, anything that can trigger a beautiful piece of art.
I can go on and on. I guess being grad students, we have mastered the ability (see, we are being creative here too ...lol ) to talk on and on ( until the allotted time for the presentation is up) just about everything under the sky. Would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Judge my creativity with yours :)

My own blog

Hello every one,

I just opened my own blog. Not because I am a writer or something, just because I do not know what to do with my time and I thought blogging might be a good way to communicate with people. I am not sure, who is going to read my blog, but I guess the pleasure of being involved with something other than the regular social networking websites and frequent email checks is reason enough.