This is why I love Calcutta

Yes, I refuse to call it 'Kolkata'. Calcutta has its charm and reputation that Kolkata can never replace. If you are someone from Calcutta, you will know what I mean.

I have lived in different cities in India, and all of them have different memories associated with them, but Calcutta stands out. Calcutta though has recognition of its own at different scales. For instance, if you ask a foreigner about Calcutta, high chances are they would talk about Mother Teressa and the Missionaries of Charity and how it is called 'The City of Joy'. To any other Indian, Calcutta would be, 'The land of bandhs and communists'. ;)

For me Calcutta is more than a city. It is where I belong, it is what defines me. Yes, we are loud, we have a terrible accent be it Hindi or English, we are round (in shape), we think we are all intellectuals, we smoke, we love rosogollas and we quarrel over little things, we do not exercise, we need to have the morning cha and newspaper(we do not drink coffee), we talk about principles and yet follow none, we make terrible businessmen, we are football crazy, we make fun of Biharis and Oriyas, we need to have 'tatka mach' (fresh fish) from the bazaar every morning, we are the only group of people in India where brahmins eat meat and fish because we live to eat, we cannot let our guest leave without trying at least one shondesh, or 'kochuri' from a 'parar dokan' (local shop) and claim they are the best you can find, we blow 'shankh' (sea shells), every evening while praying, we complain about slow trams, and yet refer to it as our heritage to an outsider, and all these things combined together make us a unit.

Winters in Calcutta mean an occasional visit to 'chiriyakhana' (the zoo), 'natun gur' (jaggery)and all the delicious sweets from grandma's recipe book, home made cakes at Christmas, feasts on new year's eve at every para, every club house, races at the derby, and if you are lucky, a test match at the Eden Gardens (usually referred to as the Mecca of Cricket).

Calcutta has a lot more in store. 'Durga Pujo'. Which other city celebrates a festival by decorating itself for 5 days like a bride? Pujo is such an integral part of every Calcuttan. Every Pujo has a special memory attached to it. Pujo means smell of new clothes, pandals, lights, decorations, sweets and all the frantic planning and shopping that comes with it. The sense of competition in every para to outmatch their pandal, the scurry to buy the best clothes in a sale, eating out every evening, hanging out with friends, fasting on Ashtami before Pushpanjoli is what Pujo is all about to a Calcuttan. Pujo brings families together, instills the faith of love and sharing.

I know that I have missed out on many other aspects of being a Calcuttan, for instance, waving to a bus and expecting it to stop for you even though you are a 100 meters away. We don't, nor does the bus driver care is that is disrupting traffic! Come on, we are Calcuttans! We love doing this and yet we complain when we are at the receiving end. :D

I love my city, I love being a Calcuttan, I love being a Bangali (total)*.

* This article has been long due (since July 2010) and I have finally managed to finish it after constant pushing from my girlfriend. All credit to her.

The Tunnel

We have all faced the 'Tunnel', where there is only one way in and just one way out. I am talking about a tunnel that shuts its entry once you are in. The only way out is to pave your way through the darkness and look for light.
I kept telling you, I am scared of the tunnel; don't push me in; I won't make it. I am not brave enough to find my way out. Its dark and suffocating here. I feel helpless. I wish I could break myself free and get out of here, but the entrance is closed. I was a free spirit, in the light. I did not want to get attached, cause I knew I had to face the tunnel.
Don't let me die in here. You can stretch your hand and pull me out. Will you?

The sine function

Life is a sinusoidal wave function multiplied by a finite decay constant, with the troughs and crests generally referred as highs and lows that interfere with noise creating all the confusion. We try to spice it up with amusements that are really short lived delta functions with a time window of few moments. We cling onto the delta functions and try to rise above the noise approximating the noise level close to null.
In our sinusoidal journey, we meet other sine waves usually generating destructive interference, but there is always a finite probability of constructive interference which we otherwise call love. Riding high on the constructive crest, we add boundary conditions called marriage. All of a sudden, there are walls, which limits our activities and our sine waves keep reflecting off the boundaries generating standing patterns which give us time to think and look back which is usually called wisdom. However, there is a always a scope to tunnel through these walls called divorce with a guaranteed fall into a pit which I will call the infinite sink.
But the constructive interference with the other sine wave can be made fruitful and with the help of some beam splitters, (for phase matching) we can generate another unadulterated sine wave with no noise, no delta functions to interfere which is what the layman calls birth.
The new sine wave grows in magnitude at neck breaking acceleration until it is so tied up with all the noise around that the decay process begins. The cycle continues.

Life is indeed a sine wave with an unknown equation that can explain its time dependence. Ride your sine wave to the fullest with the troughs and the crests that make you wiser.

Errr.......I am a physicist ( the same sine wave, but with a rare to find time dependence)......Damn it !

Looking for peace in turmoil.

Are we in peace ? Most of us pose the peace sign 'V' with our index and middle fingers, while taking snaps, but do we feel what we show? Have we experienced the ultimate peace of mind, where there are no worries, no tension, no strings attached, just a blank mind! Have we felt as light a straw floating on the sea? [barring the influence of alcohol, weed ;)]

Life is meant to be enjoyed, but are we doing justice to our own single life? Why do we always want to go that extra mile, to achieve what we don't have? If we fail, we bring misery, anger, sadness in our life. If we succeed, we want to go another mile, and the craving for an extra mile does not end.

Quoting arguably the best music group ever:

"So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here."

Absolute brilliance. Makes me ponder over my decisions, my mistakes, my life.

God Bless.

Stung by a Wasp

I was stung by a wasp on my right arm yesterday while I was sitting outside a bar with a friend. My head went buzzing and it felt like someone was constantly drilling through my hand. The bartender was kind enough to give me some ice and an antiseptic tissue. I did all I could by compressing and getting the poison out, but did not help much. My initial scare was....damn it.....I might get fever tonight (I remember, last time a bee stung me in Kanpur, I had fever that night). I could not sleep all night, because every time I rolled over my right arm, I woke up with excruciating pain :-(
Decide this morning, I have to see a doctor. My right arm was swollen, red and stiff (definitely not a condition I would want to drive, so I decided to take a bus ride to school). Fortunately, the lady at health services was able to provide an immediate walk in appointment. My doctor was CHINESE... :-D . He was about 60, and seemed a very friendly person and spoke with a typical Chinese accent (recall: chopping vegetables as Russel Peters put it).

Here is a classic example of how people make lame, unnecessary conversation here in the US.

Doc: Good morning, I am Dr. Lee.
Me: Hi [my greeting was short, because (believe me on this), I was thinking of Bruce Lee when I heard the doc's name, and chuckled at my own silly thought]
Doc: How are you doing today?
Me: Not too good! [what a stupid question to ask! why would I have come here, if I was feeling good...duh!]
Doc: You seem to be breathing well and talking well too. Thats good. Where did the wasp sting you?
Me: Here [showing him my forearm]
Doc: How do you know that was a wasp?
Me: Because it had black and yellow stripes.
Doc: Why did it bite you on the arm?
Me: [totally frustrated now] I did not get a chance to ask the wasp.
Doc: It could have bit you somewhere else.
Me: [keeping silent for a moment , and almost begging the doctor for some medication] I am in pain.
Doc: So you study Physics ?
Me: Yeah [again puzzled, whats wrong with this doctor? And, how on earth does he know what I study?]
Doc: Are you doing your PhD here?
Me: [frustrated] Yes.
Doc: Where did you do your masters?
Me: India, IIT [wondering if he would know about IIT].
Doc: IIT! which one?
Me: [feeling good that he knew IIT] Chennai.
Doc: I have friends from IIT.
Me: [wow] Thats nice to know. We have strong alumni [feeling proud within].
Doc: [out of the blue] Why do you have a beard? You do not look your age with the beard!
Me: Umm, have been too lazy to shave [having no clue how to answer that]
Doc: You will be fine in 40 hours.
Me: Any medicines ? [actually shouting in my head, "Give me some fucking pain killers or something"]
Doc: Here is an ointment.
Me: Okay [just an ointment!]
Doc: [handing me back the insurance papers] Submit this at the front desk.
Me: Thank you [out of reflex, no feeling of gratitude what so ever. Just an ointment! I can barely move my arm].
Doc: Have a good one.
Me: You too ['good one!' what good one, or who good one, or which good one....ugh.....still need to get a hang of the American way of speaking].

Disappointment of the day- The ointment I was prescribed was the equivalent of 'Boroline' we get back in India (and I spent $5 on that).
Realization of the day- The system here in US, identifies you by some numbers, and allows anyone to extract information about you (from the doc knowing what I study).
Feeling right now- My arm still hurts, and I have typed all this with my left hand.

What triggers creativity ?

I had posted this article on another blog day before yesterday, but I thought I should share it here too.

How many of us are creative? Well at some point all of us are (considering we are all researchers which requires some creative thinking and originality), but here I would like to focus on creativity at all levels, be it music, literature, art, research, cooking or blogging as in this case. LOL.

Question is, what triggers the creative dude in us? Don't shrug your shoulders telling yourself that 'I am not creative. Creativity is for crazy people!'. When you listen to a song and think, it would have been nice if the note was a bit different here, the creative you is working. Even when you appreciate a song as it is, or a piece of art, or nature, or life, the creative you is working subconsciously, but we do not realize it. Reading a book, watching a movie is indulging in someone else creativity thereby synchronizing you creativity with others. If you do not like a movie ( ex. Govinda blockbusters, Rajnikanth... ugh), you do not appreciate the director's creativity and hence you judge others creativity by your creative standards. If you still have doubts about your creativity, I am sure you have done bathroom singing at some point of your life. Well, listening to your own voice in the good acoustics of a bathroom and telling yourself, 'hmm, I am not that bad a singer after all', is appreciating your own creativity.

So, agreeing to the fact that all of us are creative at some level, the question I would like to address here is, which particular emotion in a human sparks the best creative work out of him/her? Happiness, pain, love, boredom, hate or just the passion about something, someone that stirs the creator in you? For example, look at any sportsman, and I feel it is the passion for that particular sport that has got them to what they are. Moving our attention to music, most of the best music has been triggered by either 'love,pain or hatred'. How many songs do we know of that deal with anything other that the above three? The entire rock scenario is surrounded by these feelings. Rock is a way of venting feelings and making a statement, and which other feelings trouble a man more than 'love, pain, hatred'. Same is the case with Blues, mostly venting frustration (and giving you a high). Music helps relieve the pent up emotions, and it is these emotions that pushes creativity out of humans, both knowingly and unknowingly. Just to make myself clear here, 'love, pain, hatred', here can be towards someone or something (like your job, boss, childhood, family, nature). I am sure all of us have been high on Pink Floyd at some point (see creative you).

I have not read a lot of literature to really make a comment on that, but, the limited reading that I have done, again revolves around the same human emotions. Lets try to get an insight into a writer's mind. A writer who had a general inclination towards romance, thinks differently from a writer who writes thrillers. There has to be some particular emotion working behind each of these writers that makes their style statement and instigates them to write about whatever they are best at and they like.

When a person says, I am a poet, a painter, a writer, I think, he/she is partially correct. How can someone be triggered by emotions at all times to be creative? You cannot just be a writer or a painter, or a musician, you can be one who does something else too. Creativity is not like a television, where you have a remote to turn it on. Any creative person needs the right environment and ambiance to let the creativity flow out spontaneously. Sometimes, it can be an incident on the street, a past memory, a conversation, anything that can trigger a beautiful piece of art.
I can go on and on. I guess being grad students, we have mastered the ability (see, we are being creative here too ...lol ) to talk on and on ( until the allotted time for the presentation is up) just about everything under the sky. Would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Judge my creativity with yours :)

My own blog

Hello every one,

I just opened my own blog. Not because I am a writer or something, just because I do not know what to do with my time and I thought blogging might be a good way to communicate with people. I am not sure, who is going to read my blog, but I guess the pleasure of being involved with something other than the regular social networking websites and frequent email checks is reason enough.